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>> Free PDF Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Flash Cards for Real Life (Tarcher Inspiration Cards), by Nancy Dreyfus

Free PDF Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Flash Cards for Real Life (Tarcher Inspiration Cards), by Nancy Dreyfus

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Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Flash Cards for Real Life (Tarcher Inspiration Cards), by Nancy Dreyfus

Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Flash Cards for Real Life (Tarcher Inspiration Cards), by Nancy Dreyfus



Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Flash Cards for Real Life (Tarcher Inspiration Cards), by Nancy Dreyfus

Free PDF Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Flash Cards for Real Life (Tarcher Inspiration Cards), by Nancy Dreyfus

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Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Flash Cards for Real Life (Tarcher Inspiration Cards), by Nancy Dreyfus

Based on Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, described by Glamour.com as "the most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars," this card deck has the power to stop an argument dead in its tracks. Talk to Me Like I’m Someone You Love: Flash Cards For Real Life feature sixty-four written statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love, but for which we can’t find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them. On the back of each beautifully designed card are “field notes” from the author that explain when, why, and how to use the statement. These cards include statements such as:

  • Right now, I don't need a lecture. I need your love.
  • I'm afraid to be real with you.
  • When you are so intense, it's hard to take in what might be valid about what you are saying.
  • When you treat me this way, it feels like you don't respect me. Is that true?
  • We need a new perspective. Let's take a break and each get clearer about what really matters here. Okay?

These flash cards, as well as the book on which they're based, were first inspired by a particularly angry couples therapy session in which a wife’s unrelenting criticism of her husband was making him more and more emotionally withdrawn. Suddenly, Nancy Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, “Talk to me like I’m someone you love,” and gesturing to the husband that he should hold it up. He did, and within seconds, the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged before all their eyes. Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Flash Cards For Real Life are a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing.

  • Sales Rank: #128242 in Books
  • Brand: Brand: Tarcher
  • Published on: 2013-01-03
  • Released on: 2013-01-03
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 5.22" h x 1.12" w x 3.86" l, .60 pounds
  • Binding: Cards
  • 64 pages
Features
  • Used Book in Good Condition

Review
Praise for Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love:

"Just about any couple using this material could humanize their relationship."
—Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want

"Nancy Dreyfus and her flash cards were an inspiration behind our research into the important process of attempting to change the affect during marital-conflict resolution."
—John Gottman, Ph.D., author of The Relationship Cure

"The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars."
—Erin Meanly, Glamour.com

"Veteran psychotherapist Nancy Dreyfus has written an insightful guide that highlights the power of written messages to diffuse tension and put an end to conflict"
—Tucson Citizen
 

About the Author
Nancy Dreyfus, Psy. D., is a psychotherapist and couples therapist with more than two decades of experience. She holds a doctorate degree from Hahnemann University Medical School.

Most helpful customer reviews

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love
By S. Allen
This little book will change the way you talk with those you love by providing easily grasped changes in the words you choose to express yourself. The author is direct and insightful. This is a great gift book for couples and parents.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Hey, this book really does what it says!!!!
By abbala
So what I learned from reading "Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love, a truly life altering book, is "you can say anything to anybody, any time, as long as you say it in a loving way!" That was my take away from Dr. Nancy's book. I'd recommend to anyone who has ever been in a relationship, or plans to ever be in one, again. It's chock full of bit sized, lovely little morsels that will serve you well. Run, don't walk to order your copy now, I bought a bunch for copies for my single and married friends, they "all" loved it. Oh, another cool thing, there are super helpful Flash Cards, that are also available, easy to use, and they reinforce what I learned by reading her book. Why didn't anyone ever think of writing such a simple, informative, easy to read and understand, relationship book! It's one of those books you just read over and over, and each time you get something more out of it::)

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A Deck of Hearts for Couples
By Markus Youssef
If a man and a woman get caught up in an argument and become "reptiles in love" (the title of a very good self help book for couples) and things don't seem to be getting better due to the amygdale becoming overly activated from the flight-flight stress response system, the author suggests that cards could temporarily be used as an aid to bring both parties back into adult loving mode. The cards can help because when both parties are in reactive mode, one's tone of voice often just risks fuelling the other's reactivity leading to further fear and distancing. The cards are calming because it creates a pause for real communication to take place. The idea is for at least one person to hold up a card in the midst of a heated exchange before hearts get hurt.

When you go on and on like that, I feel invisible to you.

Rather than just criticize me, can you tell me what you want in a more positive way?

I hate feeling that I have to walk on eggshells around you.

I'm afraid to be real with you.

This feels awful. Can we start again and really listen to each other?

I know what I said was hurtful. I truly didn't mean it and would do anything to take it back.

You have no idea how much I regret the direction I took this in. I'm really sorry.

I treasure you.

Right now, I'd do anything for you to know how much I love you.

Apparently this deck of cards was included in a gift basket given to celebrities and guests who attended a recent Academy Awards ceremony, perhaps in response to the high rate of divorce found in their community?

I heard the author give a few enthusiastic online interviews reporting how this approach has saved many marriages from breaking up. She has created 127 cards in her spiral flip a page notebook from which the above deck of 64 cards and samples are from. Each card has comments by the author on the other side. Examples:

I want us to stop what we are doing to each other. Both of us. Now. [This card signals your willingness to honor your partnership even when it would be so easy to just keep blaming, taking sides, being narrow-minded, and even cruel. Imagine your "adversary" holding up this message to you. There's sweetness to it. And there's something comforting about finding out there's still a grown-up in the room.]

I feel embarrassed about how I spoke to you. [This is a beautiful example of how admitting vulnerability can become the ultimate love letter. Staying connected to your own vulnerability can deepen your relationship with you partner. Your partner doesn't "need" you to feel embarrassed; he/she just needs to know how much you want him/her to know you.

I'm so sorry I couldn't hear you sooner. [This card can make your partner feel deeply cared for. It expresses so much more than regret for putting your partner through hell before finally "getting it." It acknowledges how painful it must have been for your partner all that time he/she was trying to get through to you.]

The title of the collection is also a card.

See all 14 customer reviews...

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